All I Want for Christmas

Have you ever thought about the many couples desiring the gift of a child this Christmas?   Some couples have suffered miscarriages or stillbirths and long to have a healthy pregnancy, labor, and delivery.  Others have been able to conceive one or two children, and even though they would like a larger family, have been unable to conceive again.  Still others have never been able to conceive at all.  It is estimated that one in six couples suffers with some form of infertility, although one study from the World Health Organization suggests the numbers are even higher (see the WHO article here).

            The desire to have a child is natural and beautiful.  Sometimes, however, our desires can become disordered.  For example, if I have abstained from dairy products while nursing a lactose-intolerant infant for over a year, my desire for an ice-cream sundae may increase to the point that I want to eat ice cream all day, every day.  It seems that many couples have been experiencing infertility as a “forced diet,” and after a certain period of time, patience is lacking and the longing for children has increased exponentially.  

            The question then becomes, what is the greatest gift an infertile couple can receive when they have reached this point?

            From the secular humanist’s perspective, perhaps the best gift is a huge sum of money to invest in Artificial Reproductive Techniques (ART), or even an artificial womb (see "A Brave New World of Human Reproduction" here).  The problem is that even if a child is conceived and born successfully, he or she has been treated as an object instead of a person (either to be implanted in a womb, frozen with many other embryos, or possibly kept alive for the legal time limit in an artificial womb).  Moreover, while scientists using ART can, in some instances, "create" new human life, they have not actually identified and cured the root cause of the infertility.  Finally, what are the long-term emotional, spiritual, and psychological effects of ART on the minds and souls of the child, his or her parents, and on the scientists who carry out this research for months or years at a time?  ART is imperfect, and in my opinion, creates more problems than answers.

            From a Christian’s perspective, and from personal experience with infertility in two chapters of my marriage, I would propose that the best gift is hope.  Hope comes in many shapes and sizes.  For some, it is shared by discussing the availability of ethical means of treating infertility (see One More Soul’s list of doctors available nationwide on their website)  For others, healing ministries play a crucial role; Christian counseling, spiritual direction, or events such as special Masses for infertile couples (or those who have lost a child before or during birth).  Hope can be experienced through support groups and conferences, reading good books (The Infertility Companion for Catholics comes to mind), etc.  In the end, hope is limitless because its source is Infinite.  “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11).